That’s Not Love

As I’m sure millions of people are responding to the drama of last night’s Oscars, so am I. In case you don’t already know, in short, Chris Rock, as he was preparing to present an award, made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s baldness. Pinkett Smith apparently has an autoimmune condition which has caused her alopecia (baldness). Upon hearing the remark, Will Smith walked up onto the stage and slapped Chris Rock in the face.

Later, as Smith was accepting his award for King Richard, he apologized for his behavior and said, “love makes you do crazy things.”

I was saddened by this weak defense of his behavior. It is not love that makes us do crazy violent things, it is just the opposite, it is ego, identification with a story, one based in fear. It is ego, the weakest point on the spectrum of who we are that makes us do crazy things, not love, which is at the highest point of the spectrum.

Smith apparently believes in a story that tells him he must defend at all costs an idea of who he thinks he is. He talked about the character Richard Williams, father of the famous tennis stars, Serena and Venus Williams. Smith compared himself to Richard Williams, who believed in protecting others, especially people in his family, especially women.  What did he think he was protecting them from?

I am heartened to hear the media responses to Smith’s behavior, which were generally disparaging, citing lack of self control and the ultimate rejection of violence as an answer. The Oscars presentation is in many ways an opportunity, especially for young people, to view role models. Smith’s behavior is not something worth modeling.

However, I am also hopeful. I hope that this is not the end of Smith’s drama. This is an opportunity for him to see how his thoughts led to an episode of suffering, which resulted in a poor choice, but one which can also lead to an awakening. Choose again. Learn what it really means to choose from love.