Category: Uncategorized

The sketch is finished and framed; however, I cannot hang it up yet because the picture hanger I tried would not go into the wall, which is solid concrete. So, this task has been put on the Rickey list. In the meantime, I will have to keep two wine bottles handy to make sure it doesn’t fall.

And this one is called “making puttanesca in my tiny kitchen.

This will be the “before” picture. Ozman is coming Thursday to paint and the the carpenter will come soon to install an extension of the countertop and a shelf above. It’s so fun to be creating this home away from home. I’ve been making a list of things I plan to buy when I come back next year. I am happy that Gloria is okay with this. I found a great polish/oil for that cabinet today. What a difference…well, maybe only for me… 🙂

Tomorrow I’m meeting Lesley Hughes at the attorney’s office to sign the Living Will. Then we will return here for the puttanesca lunch. Sally will join us.

I made hummus. I’m going to buy french bread at Gago’s and cookies at Mort’s Bakery on the way to my meeting with Lesley. I’m going to make a horta-type salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, red onion, kalamata olives, feta cheese, lemon juice and olive oil. Puttanesca for the entrée and Mort’s cookies with gelato for dessert. I miss cooking for friends. Next year will be better for that.

This morning we went to Piero and Adrianne’s Milky Way Creamery for breakfast and a tour. I think it is so amusing how people have become so excited when they hear “baby goats.” You don’t have to ask twice. This was an easier sell for me than Las Lajas. Enjoy the tour.

I’m glad the break came here because I need to write a little more. After we finished eating, Piero told his story. Piero is from Venezuala. He came to Panama as his first choice when he “escaped” Venezuela. He explained that it is very common in Venezuela to be kidnapped. You can even get a “kidnapping” waiver on your insurance. I’m a little bit vague on the details (Nancy, please chime in), but Piero said there are three ways to escape being kidnapped: (1) Hire thugs to protect you and “deal” with the kidnappers. (2) Allow yourself to be kidnapped and deal with the kidnappers’ demands. (3) Leave the country. He chose option #3.

He told of his fear during his flight, worried about being discovered. Long-story-short…because my memory is…he chose Boquete; bought this property; met Adrianne online; they fell in love; shared a passion for plants and animals (She is a biologist); and they decided to start a goat dairy.

The rest of his talk described the trials and tribulations of starting something so unique in this climate. It required extensive research and experimentation. After seven years and investment of thousands of dollars, they are still here, and they seem very happy and thriving.

Piero exuded such passion for what they are doing here. He reminded me of Ben & Jerry. He told us that he doesn’t make any more money than the people who work for him. No one ever works more than five days a week (except for him and Adrianne, of course).

He told us of the hours they spend sleeping with the goats when they are in distress. Every goat has a name and is part of the family. It reminds me of my grandparents’ farm in Kaukauna. The farmers have such a connection with their animals.

I asked him at one point what kept him going with such tremendous setbacks, and he explained the importance of the sense of community – at least that’s what I remember. He also talked about the increased balance he feels living here. He came from what sounds like a busy, upper-class lifestyle in Venezuela, and he did not want to do that anymore.

He said he started out in Panama City, and even there it felt too formal for him. He felt pressured to wear a suit and tie.

Here he doesn’t do that.

Okay, now a couple of videos:

For some reason, I cannot embed this video, but here’s a link: https://youtu.be/sjEpajngdUQ

Okay, that’s it for today. Hope you enjoyed the tour as much as I did.

The patio here is one of the very best, if not the best, feature of this casita. Rain or shine.

I planned to do laundry today. I had my bed stripped and my basket ready to take over to Gloria’s, and then it started pouring. I went ahead and washed things and then made plans to go over to Nancy’s to dry them. It was nice to have an opportunity to visit with her, and Bailey, of course. I’ve GOT to remember the cheese next time.

So, here is the finished doodle that is going on the wall somewhere. Just waiting for the frame, which I think Ricky is putting the hook on.

Ozman is coming on the 10th to paint the kitchen. Yay! I’ve decided that I won’t buy anything new until next year. I ‘m only here for a couple more weeks, so I’ll make do. Next year I’ll buy some things to make me happy in the kitchen. Then I can have people over for dinner.

I am planning to have Lesley Hughes and Sally Zigmund over for lunch next week. Lesley has agreed to sign my Living Will here, so lunch is to say thank you, and Sally is invited, just because (she doesn’t hate me anymore). They know each other from hospice, so I thought it would be a fun lunch.

I walked into town today (yes, in the pouring rain – thanks for that poncho Kathy Rutz). I needed the exercise, plus I had a pickup at RednBlue.

I was going to wait until I got home to buy this, but God wouldn’t let me…:) I might complete my classes with Ash, now that I have the proper ink.

As I was walking to RednBlue I came upon this house. I’ve seen it many times, and for some reason I just love the look of it. I can’t believe it’s still standing, and I wonder what stories it might tell.

After RednBlue, I stopped at Romero to pick up a few things. I was going to take a taxi home, but when I got into the checkout line, Ashley was just ahead of me. He offered me a ride home. Perfect!

Ever since an experience I had on the Camino, I have become aware of my occasional lack of kindness. I’ve been working on it. Yesterday I had an experience that I found myself examining later.

 I was out yesterday morning in a meeting. When I got home, I found this note on my door. “Chris, Your keys are in the bathroom medicine cabinet. I put your computer inside your apartment.”

I had left my door open because Ricky was supposed to come and fix the toilet. I tend to leave my laptop outside by my table when I am out for short segments of time.

So, my first question was, “What medicine cabinet?”  Both our places were all locked up.  I looked in the extra bathroom on the patio, and I didn’t see a medicine cabinet (I thought it was just a mirror hanging on the wall).  There is a cloth curtain covering the area below the sink.  I pulled that back, and just did a visual scan. I didn’t move anything.

I was feeling irritated and annoyed that I was going to have to wait for her to get home. I figured that she put my keys in her medicine cabinet and then locked her doors.  I was able to reach her at The Haven (the gym), and I told her in my best try-not-to-sound irritated voice that I was locked out. Gloria then explained to me that the mirror in that extra bathroom was actually a medicine cabinet.  Sure enough… The fact is, someone could have read that note and found the key. Oh well.

I’m not irritated anymore, and I’m happy that it gave me yet another opportunity to check myself before I react. That was a reaction. Even though Gloria may not have picked up on my irritation, I knew it was there. Food for ego reflection.

The sunflower has been entered.

And it inspired one of today’s cards:

I just realized that I did not upload the video and photos of my Sunday lunch with Mimi. I met Mimi while I was here last year. She is a massage therapist. We went to the Fish House and had an excellent meal. Mimi had a burger, and I had the coconut shrimp. I should have taken a photo of my plate. The shrimp are actually langostinos, which are very large shrimp and taste more of lobster. I could not finish my plate, which is very unusual for me. So, I had two meals of it.

And then on to Saori’s for ice cream!

 

My sister-in-law, Ann, suggested that I make a sunflower for the piece I am creating for the apartment here. This is my first attempt. I’m not completely happy with it. But it’s only the first one, and I have some ideas. I can feel precision coming on. I’ll try again tomorrow.

This morning I met one of the carpenters who is part of the construction crew of the little house, which is my view across from my play table.  He was standing at my kitchen window having a chat with Gloria about the extra countertop she is having installed here.  Very nice man.  I told him that I have been enjoying watching the house go up.  He invited me to come over some day and have a look.  Perfect!  I was already scheming how I could see it.  I was planning the whole intro thing in my mind.  Now that we’ve met, it will be easier, and of course, it’s always nice having an invitation.

I met with the hospice team today in regard to the Being Prepared for End of Life in Boquete manual. Looks like this responsibility is also winding down. So, the remainder of my time here is going to be total play.

I am waiting for my walnut ink to come so I can start practicing my calligraphy with that. I am going to continue making cards. I believe I have made enough now to fulfill all my commitments. So, from here on it is “extras.” I’m disappointed that some of the birthday cards I sent didn’t make it in time. Oh well, I hope they show up eventually. Sorry Mickey and Dianne. Just know they are on the way.

Things are continuing to move along with the remodel at home. I am so happy that I was able to contact Dulce and Erika Slotke to clean the place before I get home. It will be such a thrill to come home to a clean and updated environment.

Just finished sketching this a little while ago. Gloria gave me the frame. I painted the mat, and then decided to draw the hyacinth in the first slot. I’m going to learn some of the other flowers from the same YouTube channel and then put my favorites in the other two spaces…stay tuned. I am going to hang it somewhere in the apartment and leave it here. The color matches the walls. It makes me happy, and I will be happy to see it when (if) I come back. You never know.

I walked down to Lady’s Place today for a pedicure. Completely forgot two things: 1) my sandals and, 2) it’s a holiday. The sandals part is obvious to anyone who has had a pedicure. You cannot put socks and shoes over a fresh pedicure. The second part is important because, given that it is a holiday, it is difficult to get a taxi. The pedicurist was very sweet. She tried calling three taxis without luck. She gave me those foamy little slippers and then went outside and hailed a taxi for me. This is Panama after all. And…she just now sent me a rose emoticon on WhatsApp when I thanked her for her help. I love this place.

That is kindness. Obviously, it is customer service, but it goes above and beyond. People here are just kind. It is a good place for me to practice kindness.

Being kind is a challenge. I find it increasingly a challenge when I am here anew and have to navigate new relationships. I am working hard on making kindness my response reflex. It is an interesting process. My immediate/initial/knee-jerk response is irritation and defensive. I feel like have to be on guard and protect myself. I don’t want to be taken advantage of or pushed around. However, I am working on pausing, taking a breath, allow the irritation to pass through me as though I were invisible, and wait. Waiting is the hard part, but it pays off.

I have discovered that if I wait a bit before I respond (sometimes a few seconds – a day is better) the result is always rewarding. In the peak moment, just saying, “okay” works, and then I take time to think it through. I let the wolves fight it out in my head.

Do you know this story?

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

So, I’m doing my best to feed the Wolf of Kindness. The Dalai Lama, when asked about this religion, said, “My religion is kindness.” I’ll take his word for it; it’s a good choice.

I understand that given all the exact circumstances of birth and conditioning, I would be saying/doing exactly the same thing as the other person. I am in THIS body; they are in THAT body, but we are all manifestations of the same source. In our ESSENCE we are the one.

I have no idea why I felt I had to write that, but there you go!

I received a $50 Amazon gift certificate today from GBInsight for writing a testimonial in regard to my genetic testing with them. First time I have ever been paid for writing something. Dan is so happy.

I met “the gang” for breakfast at nine this morning at Sugar and Spice to celebrate Nancy and Kathy’s birthdays. Who attended? Nancy, Kathy, Herta, Betty, Beth, Gloria and me. A couple of shots from my walk in:

Later in the afternoon, we met again at Nancy’s to extend the celebration and for movie day. The selected film was Lust for Life (biography of Vincent van Gogh) starring Kirk Douglas. It was a bit Hollywood corny at times, but overall very enjoyable. It was a good followup to having just been to the digital van Gogh exhibit before I left home. Van Gogh was such an intense human being. I wonder how he would do today…on medication.

And now I’m back home, getting a few words in here and then planning to do a bit of studying with Hola Spanish. I haven’t been in class for a while, so I want to catch up.

I needed to back off on my ideas to make changes to my apartment. Gloria was feeling overwhelmed. I committed the sin of “assuming.” I assumed she wanted the changes as much as I did. i don’t think so. I’m going to just leave things as they are. If I decide there is something I would like, I’ll just get it myself and pack it up with my stuff when I leave. That was my original plan, so I should have just stuck with that. Oh, well, hopefully no harm done.

Barb made it to California in one piece. Actually, again, I’m assuming that… I didn’t ask. I just asked if she made it. She responded that it was a harrowing experience, and she was never asked once for any Covid-related documents. Perhaps that is because the airline already had them. Who knows? She made it; that’s what counts.

I went to the Social Security building yesterday for my booster. Easy peasy. No lines.

As I was sitting and waiting afterward, a young Panamanian man came and sat next to me. “The government has control over us,” he said, “If I don’t have the booster, I can’t go to my job.”

I just nodded and smiled, like I usually do, and said something lame, like, “Well, it keeps people out of the hospital.”

“Well, now I have a sore arm, and I won’t be able to do my job properly. My last vaccination hurt for days.”

His English was exceptional. Made me wonder what conservative college he attended in the U.S., but I didn’t ask, and thank God there are no thought bubbles above our heads.

I love this new technique I learned. First, you draw the flower in pencil. Mess up as much as you need to. Go over it with a gel pen, and then erase the pencil lines. It’s great! I learned it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaUFYpwoPe0 I’m going to try all 12 flowers:

Today’s completed production line:

I spent a good part of my day doing some reorganizing. Gloria has agreed to my sprucing up the kitchen a bit. I moved the refrigerator to the pantry/closet/storage room. So that gives me an extra three square feet in the kitchen. I’m going into La Reyna (the local “department” store) tomorrow to look at some kitchen things like dishes, pots and pans, utensils, etc.

Gloria is also having the kitchen painted and having her handyman put in some shelves. It’s a win-win. I will love the fresh face, and increased usability of the kitchen, and I think Gloria is happy to have someone do it. It was needed. I’m also going to make some curtains for the bedroom window. The street light across the street is very bright at night. My current solution is a might tacky.

I learned recently that I am off the hook for the hospice database. Another person on the team asked if he could do what I was being trained to do, so…there you go… I am happy to let go of the responsibility. I learned a lot working with the Bubble program, but I’m fine letting it go. Since I am no longer need there, I spent a couple of days working on their Being Prepared booklet. Editing is never finished. I offered a rather significant revision this time around, so we’ll see how that goes. In any event, I told the team I wouldn’t touch it again 2/28 when we will have a meeting and make some decisions on the final draft.

So, now I’m back in my playroom. I recently earned how to draw a hyacinth.

I paid a visit today to Attorney Erick Quintero in order to get my Living Will in place here in Panama. The one I have in the U.S. is not valid here. It must be produced in English and Spanish and then notarized. The attorney told me to modify the base document in any way I wished regarding my last wishes, and then he would have it notarized. The following entry made me smile – so un-U.S. and so Panamanian:

“I declare that to exercise the authority given by this document, my HEALTHCARE REPRESENTATIVE should try to discuss with me specific details of any decision proposed by doctors in the event that I could not communicate in any way, even with the twinkle of my eyes. ” Can’t you just picture it??? Semicomatose, but still a twinkle in the eye??? “Please, don’t pull the plug yet…”

I spent part of my afternoon preparing birthday cards to send out. This is so much more fun than standing in a shop trying to find “just the right” card. Now I can’t decide which one to send.

I also like to make the envelopes. This purple glue is such a fun. My friend, Nancy Peterson, told me about it last year while I was here. When you put it on, it’s purple. Then, it slowly becomes clear. I just know Cordelia would love this.

Today there was a flurry of texts between me and the contractors who are working on my kitchen. I love technology! Yesterday wasn’t so great because most of the texts were about not being able to get down our driveway, which was apparently a sheet of ice. But I am able to get the work done without even being there, and they are able to work when they want and stay in communication with me, asking questions, making modifications. So far, so good. I’m excited about cooking in my kitchen again. I feel fortunate to have such great contractors.

Another lovely Saturday walk with my lovely friend Barb. Barb is leaving soon to visit her daughters in the U.S. Their father recently passed away. I’m going to miss you!

My Valentine rose from Gloria is still vibrant. I found this beauty mesmerizing as I was sitting here writing.

I have been having an interesting experience with color, in particular a light shade of turquoise…or is it aqua? Not sure. In any event, I chose this color as the accent color for my kitchen and the entire living room before I left home. Then, as I am here, and watching The Seaside Hotel, I see that this color features prominently in the hotel. It is also Gloria’s favorite color. The entire house here, inside and out is painted this color.

I gave Gloria a card similar to this for for Valentine’s Day:

This is the cup I use here for my hot water:

What’s it all about????

Today Ash gave me a “Look at that!!” when I sent my practice video. I felt a shift in my body today. I found that I get the best result if I breathe in on the hairline and breathe out on the shade. So, with this one, it’s breathe-in, breathe-out, breathe-in. I also have to put pressure on the nib and pull down a little bit to keep it in a straight line on the downstroke. Such a beautiful, fun, art.